Teacher Back-t0-School Depression Syndrome is real. Don’t laugh. . .
The Back-to-School transition is hard core. To go from baking to book exchange and bus duty. From cleaning up after one kid to cleaning up after 320 kids. From outside to inside – from dinner to drive-thru (it’s true). From play dates to play duty. It’s sad, I’m telling you. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get my mojo back. I feel like a small shriveled balloon after a birthday party. The first week, with kids, is especially killer. Correct me if I’m wrong, but after that first week, I just have nothing left to say. . . I’m vitamin D deficient, dehydrated and I have cotton mouth.
There is just nothing you can do prepare yourself for it: the early mornings, napless afternoons and dress clothes that squeeze your gut. My belly hurts.
Teacher Back-to-School Depression Syndrome is; however, semi-curable. Recommended treatment regimen includes Prayer, Xanax, Mountain Dew, kale and coffee. Retail therapy is also highly recommended for the treatment of TBSDS, but funding can be difficult to obtain after long, dry, payless summer months full of vacations and day trips. The TBSDS never really goes away, but with the proper treatment, it does develop into the less serious and threatening TDS, or Teacher Depression Syndrome.
So people, if you see your friendly neighborhood teacher or librarian out and about, and she looks haggard and pale, moves slow and has nothing to say, you can just shake your head and think, “That poor thing, she must have TBSDS.” And buy her a drink.